Testimonio desde Singapur

2018 has been the penultimate year of 'putting things into perspective' for me. I have been suffering from Vulvodynia for the past 10 years without getting a proper diagnosis from my urogynaecologist and after getting diagnosed in August this year (after a lot of Googling and research and forcing my doctor to confirm if the condition I had was this), a lot of things fell into place. 

I have always apologized to others around me over the years, for words or actions that I'd have spoken or done owning to very bad days with pain. But from that day, I realized that putting yourself first over everything else is in fact, not a crime. Making yourself a priority is of utmost importance and you shouldn't apologize for the bad days you have due to your condition.

It has also taught me to be more empathetic to people around me. What we have, is invisible. Similarly, a lot of people have a lot of invisible things that we cannot see, what’s going on in their lives. I've started becoming more understanding and patient because I have a few people in my life who understand what I have and they are supportive, strong and patient with me.

On our society related note, the more I read and learn about vulvodynia and the conditions related to the uterus and female in general, I realize that our voices are oppressed. We are either not talking it out enough or we are not being heard enough. When we talk about feminism, we talk about workplace equality, social equality, domestic equality, violence against women. Giving importance to female health and these kind of conditions need to be addressed. More dialogue, more 'breaking taboos' around the vagina, letting people know about what a woman can potentially encounter in her lifetime and on how to take preventive or healing methods is also a form of rights of a woman and the female race. It in itself is a type of liberation. So my fellow ladies, I urge you all to create a healthy space for people around you to know what you suffer from, and to whoever is reading it, be a bit more kind, and understanding. It is not a woman's fault that she has it. I repeat, it is not her fault that she has it. 

Also ladies, do not let anyone tell you that you are who you are because of your condition. You are way past that, you are stronger than most of the people because you wake up every single day with Vulvodynia, get through the day, rinse and repeat. What is more badass than that, right?

Let all women be heard! We are tougher together :)

* If there is anyone who'd want to talk to me about the same, please do feel free to message me on my IG account @maaaaahiway.

Pame Clynes